Power of listening
How much does the way we listen influence what is said?
Listening can be challenging, especially these days, but the power of listening is so important.
When we listen, it allows us to better understand ourselves and other people too.
However, with all of the distractions around us and within our own heads, it’s incredible that we ever hear anything that anyone says at all.
By listening, we can become better leaders and learners.
It takes two to speak the truth - one to speak and another to hear.
Henry David Thoreau
Three levels of listeNing
Be Present
Stop everything you are doing, whether you are typing on your phone or computer, watching TV, or anything else.
Multi-tasking doesn’t work when you’re listening to others.
By being present, you will hear everything the other person is saying. You will make them feel acknowledged and important.
Emotional connection
When we are present, we can listen between the words. We can hear and feel where someone is coming from.
When we connect with the person emotionally, it’s much easier to resolve a conflict, understand them, or figure out how to support them.
Empower
How do you feel about the person who is talking?
The “filter” we listen through has everything to do with what we hear and how we relate to the other person. If our filter (i.e. opinion) of the other person or what they are saying is not empowering, see if you can “upgrade” it (i.e., find the good stuff).
When we listen in an empowering way, we take responsibility for our judgments and realize that our opinions color what we hear and how we hear it.
It’s challenging to have an empowering or positive conversation with someone whom we judge in a negative way.
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
Stephen Convey
Imagine if, instead of listening for right or wrong, good or bad or where we can interrupt the conversation in order to make our own point, we listened intently to understand the other, to find alignment and shared values, to hear what truth, deep commitment or inspired thought is beneath their words which is truly trying to come out.
I have always said that one of the sincere forms of respect is listening to what others have to say. Listen to respond not react! And this holds true, in both personal and professional space.