Healing old wounds
I’ve struggled with it.
Moving on from my past. Ridding myself from guilt, shame, and grief. Freeing myself from past mistakes, and relationships.
We try to keep things hidden from ourselves and from those around us, things that caused us so much pain and suffering. Things that are perceived by our minds as being dark, ugly and painful. Things we would rather forget happened. Things we would rather keep buried deep down inside than bring back to the surface.
You’re not alone.
Everyone carries a shadow. There’s a dark side to all of us, and as long as we continue to hide, repress and isolate this side of us, our darkness will continue to influence ourselves and the way we live our lives.
Carl Jung
Letting go is essential but it’s not always easy putting theory to practice. If you’ve struggled with it too, here’s how we can truly move forward.
Feel your emotions. Accept them
Too often we bottle things up.
When we bottle up our emotions, we release it in regrettable ways. We end up hurting ourself and others. Common ways of dealing with pain could be; drinking, binge-eating, procrastination etc.
Alone these activities are not bad but it becomes a problem when they are used as distractions. Distractions always do more harm than good.
Don’t deny yourself the process of your feelings. Do not use band-aids on your wounds when you need to deep clean them.
Healing is a process.
Be in the present moment
Whenever we feel like we are losing perspective, it can mean that we are out of touch with what we truly want or care about. We can ask ourselves questions such as:
How often do I enjoy my work? Or am I too busy thinking about getting it finished by the deadline to give ourself a chance to enjoy it?
Am I so distracted by thoughts of Monday morning that I spoil the time spent with family and friends on the weekend?
Am I so caught up in regrets of the past that I prevent opportunity blossoming in the present?
Are the opinions of others, formed through actions I took in the past, stopping me from being who I want to be in the present?
It is important that we understand that to not be present is to be torn between two worlds, the past and the future, neither of which exist. To constantly reside in this state prevents us enjoying life and finding happiness.
If we allow ourself to be a victim of time – a victim of the past and a slave to a future that is yet to unravel – you will carry with you a sense of unease, causing stress, agitation and feel generally uncomfortable in life.
Wherever you are, commit to being there, completely. Life will take care of the rest.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened, it is the freedom from what happened.
Freedom from the pain caused by the past, freedom from the control it had over you.
Forgiveness = Strength
The weak cannot forgive; it is easy to stay angry and hurt forever. Only the strong can endure all the pain and stand tall because of it.
Forgive the person who hurt you. Forgive the situation that crashed into your life, but more importantly forgive yourself.
Without forgiveness, you cannot truly be free.
Discover lessons Learned
Life is a collection of lessons. It is a matter of allowing yourself to see those lessons. Sometimes, those lessons involve pain. I understand that your past may be dark and it hurts to have those memories taking up space in your mind.
It sucks! No one should tell you to feel otherwise.
However…
Pain can be blinding. Pain prevents you from seeing the bigger picture. Allow yourself to see through it.
Pain, on the surface, is perceived as negative or something to run away from. I ask you to dive deeper.
Ask yourself honest questions, “What is being presented to me?” What is the golden nugget I can discover here? What can I use here to make me better/stronger?”
It could be a lesson of forgiveness, a lesson of perseverance, a lesson of patience. Whatever the lessons, they are always valuable.
Use your past as a catalyst for something better.
Key takeaway
I understand Life is not all sunshine and rainbows, Life involves the hard times.
There is no sugar-coating it. The hard times are awful!
We need the hard times though. Through the hard times, we can found out who we really are. More importantly, who we can be.
Do we run away from pain? Do we run away from the past? or do we overcome them?
Do not bury your past, use it.
We cannot let yesterday hold us back from today. We need the focus of today to build a better tomorrow.
I truly believe we can live to our best potential.
Remember these three sentences whenever your Past seems to distract you from today: